Truisms --for those of us who are mature!!
- I changed my password to "incorrect" so whenever I forget it the computer will say, "Your password is incorrect."
Artificial intelligence is no match for natural stupidity.
- I'm great at multi-tasking--I can waste time, be unproductive, and procrastinate all at once.
- If you can smile when things go wrong, you have someone in mind to blame.
- Doesn't expecting the unexpected mean that the unexpected is actually expected?
- Take my advice — I'm not using it.
- Hospitality is the art of making guests feel like they're at home when you wish they were.
- Television may insult your intelligence, but nothing rubs it in like a computer.
- I bought a vacuum cleaner six months ago and so far all it's been doing is gathering dust.
- Every time someone comes up with a foolproof solution, along comes a more-talented fool.
- If you keep your feet firmly on the ground, you'll have trouble putting on your pants.
- A computer once beat me at chess, but it was no match for me at kick boxing.
- Ever stop to think and forget to start again?
- When I married Ms. Right, I had no idea her first name was Always.
- My wife got 8 out 10 on her driver's test--the other two guys managed to jump out of her way.
- There may be no excuse for laziness, but I'm still looking.
- Women spend more time wondering what men are thinking than men spend thinking.
- Give me ambiguity or give me something else.
- He who laughs last thinks slowest.
- Is it wrong that only one company makes the game Monopoly?
- Women sometimes make fools of men, but most guys are the do-it-yourself type.
- I was going to give him a nasty look, but he already had one.
- Change is inevitable, except from a vending machine.
- The grass may be greener on the other side but at least you don't have to mow it...
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